Writing Advice

I’ve been blogging since August. These five months are equal to ten years in Internet time. With this wealth of writing experience at my fingertips, I’ve taken it upon myself to mentor other up-and-coming authors who ask for writing advice. Oh, sure, I know what you’re thinking: if someone tweets to a billion people, they’re not necessarily asking for my personal advice, but I’m a humanitarian. I can recognize a cry for help.

Two months ago, Jacob A. tweeted, “I’m having trouble with my novel. Anyone have an idea how to create realistic characters?”

I thought about different approaches he could try: give the characters concrete goals, make sure they have flaws, develop their arcs, etc. That all sounded good, but it wasn’t enough. I could read between the lines. What he really needed was encouragement. What he was really saying was, “help me, I need motivation. Some saint or sage needs to encourage me.”

I responded, “Keep trying.”

The wisdom of this ancient adage won me many Twitter followers. It was like manna in the desert. The next prospective author, Sunny P., tweeted, “I’m having trouble with my short story. Anyone have an idea how to create realistic characters?”

I gave this one a lot of thought. Clearly, she was suffering, and this was such a different problem than the first: I mean a short story. Wow! I wanted to provide useful information. I took my time, then responded, “Keep trying.”

By this time, I had gained a reputation. I was becoming an Internet writing guru. It was then that one of my followers, Mike W. tweeted, “I’m having trouble with my screenplay. Anyone have an idea how to create realistic characters?”

This was a tough one. By using the word “anyone”, it was obvious he meant me. I was outside my element though. A screenplay? I had never given advice to screenwriters before. What right did I have to reply? All I could do was share my hard-won wisdom. I responded: “Keep trying.”

Thanks to my sage advice, I now have nearly five hundred Twitter followers. Five hundred! Crazy, huh? An army of Glover worshippers, all prepared to do my bidding. Back to my pupils though. With such incredible inspiration to guide them, the novelist finished his book overnight; the short story writer finished her collection and sold her first story; and the screenplay writer received a million dollar bonus. They never actually told me that, but that’s how valuable the kind of advice I gave is.

Suddenly, I’m a Twitter savant. Authors from all over the Internet approach me for writing advice. They consider me a modern-day prophet. I read their messages slowly. I give them time to sink in. Other people may tell them to keep trying, but when I tell them they know it comes from a fellow traveler, someone who’s struggled with the same issues and dilemmas, who’s dipped his tin cup in the same wellspring of suffering. They get it.

So keep trying. And if you need my advice, just let me know.