Spoiler Alert: If you’ve never seen this movie, I ruin it completely.
My wife wanted to know if I had watched the movie “Gone Girl”, which is playing on cable TV this month. I hadn’t yet, but I had intended to watch it, so I bumped it up on my schedule. She had piqued my interest by saying, “I’m not sure how I feel about it,” but she wouldn’t tell me what it was that bothered her.
The movie had a few decent twists, but it ended with the man accepting his wife back after she had framed him for her murder, left him, and then killed her ex-boyfriend – no big deal; just average, run-of-the-mill, psychopathic behavior. Forgive and forget, right?
The next day, my wife was sitting on the sofa and asked, “So what did you think of the movie?”
“I have to tell you,” I said, “I love you, but,” and here’s where I paused, waiting for her to look up from her knitting, “if you ever plot to frame me for murder, we’re through.”
“Is that a deal-breaker?” she asked.
“I’d say so.” I sat down beside her. “How about you? Would you mind if I framed you for my murder, then slit an ex-girlfriend’s throat?”
It took a few seconds for her to respond. “It depends on which one.”
I had to agree with her. One of my ex’s almost stabbed me with a butter knife in an argument over Velveeta cheese. There may have been alcohol involved, but no more on that.
An unanswered question remained: just how many of my ex-girlfriends could my wife off before we’d call it quits? One? Two? Three? What was the tipping point? What other crimes against humanity could she commit? Is that too macabre?
“Okay,” I said, “let’s compromise. You can frame me for manslaughter, but that’s as far as I’ll go.”
We sealed the deal with a kiss. Oh, the moral vacuum we live in. What about you? If your partner frames you for their murder, do you take them back?
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