The Year of Mercy is Over, so How About a Year of Vengeance?

Mom gave me the good news over the phone two weekends ago. St. Agnes, my old home town’s cathedral, was going to close its Holy Doors of Mercy a week early. The Year of Mercy had ended. I couldn’t have been happier. I think I can speak for most Roman Catholics when I say that I’m dog-tired of mercy. I’m ready to get back to some good old-fashioned judgmentalism, retribution, and vengeance.

The official end of the Catholic Church’s Year of Mercy came on November 20^th when the Pope closed the doors of St. Peter’s, but I’ve heard the whispers for months. Or was it other people who heard mine? No matter. Many of us were sick of mercy. We were ready for a change.

This year is the year to get back at all of the people who screwed us the year before when we were being, you know, merciful. This year is the year of vengeance.

Year of Mercy Recap

Now that the Year of Mercy is over, I suppose it’s time for a recap. Was I merciful? Was I forgiving? Did I turn the other cheek? Ummm, sure, I guess so. Maybe. Sometimes. At least once or twice.

All those Facebook rants? They were straight from the Glover oven of goodness, baked with love, garnished with charity, and topped off with a healthy dollop of kindness. Besides, aren’t we supposed to bury the dead?

Those snide asides behind people’s backs? Instructing the ignorant and admonishing the sinner, straight out of the seven spiritual works of mercy. More good works.

Feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless, clothing the naked? I may not have done any of that, but I did think about it from time to time, and isn’t it the thought that counts?

In fact, the last time I sat down to a juicy steak off the grill with a side of zucchini, a salad, and a bottle of pinot noir, I said to my wife, “Aren’t the many homeless people awful?”

She corrected me. “Don’t you mean, ‘Isn’t it awful about the many homeless people?’”

“You’re right,” I said, ruminating as I chewed a chunk of cow. “And by the way, have mercy on me, this steak’s a whopper!”

Despite these impressive examples from my C.V., you may find it hard to believe that there are some who say I may not have exemplified the attitude of mercy this year. Crazy, right?

Year of Vengeance

Thank goodness the Year of Mercy’s behind us. We can all focus on the getting back at people now. No more “forgiving injuries” and “bearing wrongs patiently”. The Year of Vengeance is here! It feels good just to say it.

You might ask, “What do you plan on doing differently?” Good question. I’ve given this one a lot of thought. How about starting out with a little thing called “looking out for número uno”? That’s right, I’m tired of thinking about other people. It’s time to look out for myself.

I plan on continuing with the Facebook rants and snide asides, but this year I have no intention of feeling guilty about them. In the Year of Vengeance, I plan on relishing every moment. To go along with the Year of Vengeance, I’ve decided upon seven works of vengeance. Here they are:

1. Deprecating the dumb
2. Scorning the stupid
3. Belittling the brainless
4. Disparaging the dimwits
5. Mocking the muttonheads
6. Knocking the nincompoops
7. Punishing the pinheads

I’m ready. Are you?

Blatant Call to Action

Revenge! Revenge! Revenge! Come on, admit it. Doesn’t that feel better than mercy? You know you want to join in. Who’s with me?