My Hallmark Life – Part II (the Snowball Fight)

I was on my way to re-creating Hallmark year round, but I still had a few boxes to tick.

Just to review, an ice carving contest; here’s the formula: a snowball fight; a mild misunderstanding following a half-overheard conversation; an interrupted kiss; a love-filled trip on the Christmas train; a town filled with year-round Christmas spirit; a Christmas cookie bake-off; a magical snow globe; a trip to a Christmas tree farm; and a mysterious stranger who could actually be Santa Claus.

Last week, I had tried my hand at ice carving.  Some of the requirements were outside of my control, which was why I was so happy when nature cooperated.

The Snowstorm and Kind of a Snowball Fight

Snow was one of the essential ingredients for the Hallmark formula.  Not every film had it, but like baking powder in a cake, the ones that did rose to higher levels.  The blizzard that hit was the perfect opportunity for a Hallmark-style snowball fight.

The classic Hallmark snowball fight starts with a playful toss.  What follows is a few gentle throws between the combatants, until finally one rushes towards the other.  The man falls on the ground in mock surrender, and the two paramours playfully roll around.  Easy, right?

It should have been, but I had a problem.  My wife hated the cold.  How would I lure her outside for the Hallmark snow-battle?  I had to bide my time.

I couldn’t talk her outside after the blizzard, but when we returned from church a few days later, I convinced her to inspect our snow fort.  I had prepared a pyramid of snowballs and hoped she might pick one up.  Colleen was excited to have a snowball fight, and all she needed was a little prompting from her Dad.  I whispered into her ear, and she soft-tossed a fluff-ball of powder at her Mom.

“You got me,” Lana laughed.  “This is a beautiful fort you made, but it’s freezing.  I’m going inside.”

“So soon?” I said.

“I hate the cold.”  She turned her back.

What else could I do?  I had to pelt her.  Wham!

“Ha ha,” she said.

Where was the return fire?  She kept moving.  I had to do something.  “Wait a sec,” I said.  I jogged over to her.  Make the best of it, I thought.

Kiss-us Interrupt-icus

I leaned towards her, pursing my lips.  To any casual observer, it looked like I was about to plant one on her kisser.  Most days, they would have been correct, but today I had other plans.  As she pursed and leaned, I took a snowball in my hand and shoved it between our lips.  A Hallmark kiss-us interrupt-icus had just occurred. 

“Hey!” she said, spitting out the ice crystals.  “What are you doing?”

“Classic Hallmark,” I said.

“Have you gone crazy?  I hate snow.”

“Crazy like a rum-soaked fruitcake,” I said.

“You better get Hallmark out of your head.”

“Heading towards a magical holiday weekend.”

She walked towards the door.  “I don’t even know what you’re talking about anymore.”

“Remember,” I said sotto voce.  “The Christmas cookie bake-off is next week.”

She stopped and looked, but I had turned away.  Had she heard me?  Hadn’t she?  Was she wondering what I had said?  A classic Hallmark misunderstanding was brewing!

Keeping Hallmark Alive

So far so good, but I’m not done yet.  How do you think it’s working?  Is the Hallmark – I mean, Christmas – spirit alive and well?  Any suggestions?

Next week: a mysterious stranger.